Changing Hearts & Minds

Having worked around children for most of my life through being a mother, teacher & now a nanna too I reflect on how I dealt with 'tantrums', 'outbursts' 'behaviour that was deemed poor' . Did I try to suppress the behaviour, shut it down by trying to fix it with phrases like;

'stop crying, you'll be fine'

'act more maturely'

'stop throwing your toys'

'you need to show you dad more respect'

'If you don't eat your vegetables you can't have dessert!'

But I realise now, I was missing the point. They were just trying to communicate something to me, an unmet need, an emotion or frustration that they were unable to control themselves.

Who are children? I guess the are just smaller versions of us, they think, feel, experience all the emotions that we do. Some even enter this world with trauma & experiences that they would never chose yet we still use phrases like;

"they're just attention- seeking" Actually, you could say we are all attention seeking. When you have some news (whether it be happy or sad), don't you want to share it with someone who you know will listen. As humans we are hard wired for connection; whether it be with another human, an animal or even nature we need connection in our lives.

When our little people seek attention maybe they too are just looking for connections, someone to help them to navigate their way through an emotion, someone they feel safe enough around to accept that even though their behaviour wasn't 'socially acceptable' at that moment, we acknowledge that it may have been as a result of an emotion that they just didn't know what to do with.

The amazing Dr Jane Goodall who recently passed away, left many legacies as a primatologist, animal rights activist but also just a good human being striving to create a better world for the future said;

"The only way to change people is to get into their hearts"

Through training & mentoring in schools, care homes, recruitment agencies, any field where children & adults are in our hands, my focus is to shift mindsets & change hearts through acknowledgement that we do can make a real difference to someones life. A kind word, a gesture, a gentle hug, an understanding that there is more at play than just a behaviour that we may be witnessing ... can make all the difference to making our world a better, safer & kinder place to raise our children in, who are the future.

Children in Fiji joyfully collaborate on a creative project, sharing kindness and support as they work together.